Dear Prince Rupert Correctional Center

Look.

I get it, I really do. You’re busy. You’ve got lots of inmates. They all look the same, they all wear the same bloody uniform.

But SERIOUSLY?

How do you ‘mistakenly’ release an inmate?

Not only that, but how do you do it FIFTEEN TIMES in the past three years?!

And here’s another thing: if you CHOSE to release him, I’m not really sure if he’s “unlawfully at large.”

At large? Yes, definately. But it was YOUR FAULT that this man (and others) was released.

I hope whoever was responsible has to sit in a corner wearing a giant dunce hat. This is ridiculous.

Dear upstairs neighbour…

Look, I’ve been a really, really REALLY good downstairs neighbour. I’ve grinned and bared (borne? bore?) it as you stomp noisily across your tiny apartment.

I’ve ground my teeth, holding my tongue as your brat runs from corner-to-corner, little toddler toes echoing above me. As my light fixtures shake, and plates clatter.

But tonite my mailbox greeted me with a Bell bill with $60 worth of unexpected charges. And I’m in a pissy mood. And your child is SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF ITS LUNGS. And I don’t know what possessed you to stomp around WHILE IT WAS SCREAMING.

Do you just revel in torturing me, your lowly under-dweller? Why would you do that? Whyyyyy?

I’m about 5 minutes away from stomping upstairs and sweetly telling you how much you are DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Yours forever,

Jackie S. Quire.

Thanks for sucking

Dear co-worker in Vancouver who was unnecessairily mean to me this afternoon:

Maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve covered a trial remotely. but I am doing the best I can with what I have to work with. While you’re sitting at your desk in the hub of the centre of the universe, I’m balancing my laptop on the armrest of the CBC truck. My internet keeps cutting out, and I was going the extra mile to give you good quality tape, rather than a phone rant. There was no reason for you to be so rude and tell me my story was crap.

I hope you are not always like this. Because then I not only feel sorry for you, but your friends, family and everyone you work with on a daily basis.

And I’m glad IIII live and work far far away.

Thanks for sucking,

Jackie S. Quire.

Open Letter #1

I am blatently stealing the “open letter” concept from another blog I read. This is not uncommon for me. I also stole the “reader asks” format from Megan. Hey, I never said I was original. Just ranty!

 

Dear former landlord:

I am so glad I no longer rent from you. And even more glad that after this rental application I will never ever have to rely on you for anything ever again.

I am a GOOD TENANT. You of all people should have recognized that. I lived next to you for almost two years. I was friendly and respectful and didn’t have parties or do anything more rowdy than crank my iPod when doing the dishes.

I know we didn’t always see eye to eye, but I thought we had reached some kind of understanding over the years.

So please tell me where you get off giving me a crappy reference for my new apartment? Where do you get off telling them that I was DIRTY. Where do you get off charging the CBC almost TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS to clean the place? Especially after you I had knocked on your door and asked to borrow a vacuum cleaner and cleaning supplies and you said NOT TO BOTHER.

If it was a big deal, you should have said so upon the ‘march-out.’ I would have done something about it. No, it wasn’t spotless when I left. Yes, I burned the carpet with an iron once. But come on.

I was a 20-something single gal. You, a woman who cleans for a living. So yes, my standards of cleanliness and yours NATURALLY were going to be different.

Here’s hoping I never have to rent from someone like you again.

Sincerely,

A very disgruntled and resentful,

Jackie S. Quire.

 

PS. I signed my lease today!