Why I’m not posting

Because I’m ashamed of the things I want to post. Because I feel like if I post what is really going on in my mind and my heart I’ll disappoint the World Wide Web.

And the friends and family back home.

The trouble is, when I have a bad day, I know the moment I write about it, I’ll get a phone call from back home. And that’s not really, often, why I write. I don’t always want to talk about it.

Sometimes I just want to vent, just want to say that I had a shitty day. Sometimes instead of coming home and taking the dog for a long walk, I just want to order a pizza and lay on my couch.

I try to be upbeat and cheery and optimistic. I try to put on that front because that’s who I really WANT to be. When instead, sometimes I’m just a sad little girl, who feels really really lonely…

And who sees time just slipping away, out of her fingers, faster than she can grab a hold of.

I feel old.

And sad.

And stuck.

9 Responses to “Why I’m not posting”

  1. Megan Says:

    This is exactly why I started the blogging project. There are things I want to say but don’t want to get into an IRL conversation about. And I DEFINITELY don’t want anyone to call and talk to me about my feelings.

    Hugs, my dear.

    • Jackie S. Quire Says:

      Seriously, the blogging project has really opened my eyes. I’ve posted more to that site in the past week than I have on my own in a month.
      Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but still.

      I heart the secret blog!

  2. Jackie S. Quire Says:

    In other news, drawing that sad panda nearly made me wet myself.

    New rule: When feeling like a whiny fetus, draw sad pandas.

    Because really, no one’s sadder than a panda wearing mittens!

  3. Lindsay Says:

    You know that time is slipping through your fingers because you are wearing mittens, you silly panda:)

  4. Kara Says:

    mahahahah! I love Lindsay’s comment!!

    I think you need to go to a public place and just yell it to the world that you are lonely and need a friend. Perhaps you will find one or maybe the cop that hauls you away will be super hot and a potential date once he learns you really aren’t a lunatic.

  5. Mongoose Says:

    Yeah, the downside of getting where you were going is, where do you go from there?

  6. Robyn Says:

    You DREW that sad panda wearing mittens?? You, my dear, are an artiste. I want a life-sized duplicate to hang on my wall.

    And we’re all sad pandas, on the inside. But only the cool ones wear mittens.

  7. Felicity Says:

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