Bambi the ski bunny

I am NOT a graceful skier.

I am NOT one of those people who came out of the womb wearing skis (ouch), who glided their way gracefully out of the hospital and directly onto the slopes.

I am NOT one of those people who schoop, schoop, schoop down the mountain. Skillfully coming to a controlled stop at the bottom of a hill, spraying a fine layer of powder over the back of their skis.

No, when I put on skis, I instantly become Bambi. Bambi on ice, awkward legs splayed in opposite directions. Tied up in knots, skidding out of control… before inevitably crumbling into a confused heap in the snow.

I am SUCH a painful skier. I have no natural talent. I went out to Silver Star with my friend Marie yesterday and it was just a total disaster. I had fun, I laughed my ass off and spent a lot of time rolling in the snow. But I am just NOT good at it. I think my most successful run (okay, let’s be honest: my ONLY run off the bunny hill) was when we got all the way to the top of the Milky Way, where I panicked excessively and barely made it halfway down…

ONLY TO HAVE THEM SHUT OFF THE NIGHT LIGHTS!!! Let me add here that this was sometime between 8-9 PM. And we were NOT the only ones left on the hill. We were stuck in the dark!

There was no way in God’s green earth I was going to be skiing down this crazy hill IN THE BLOODY DARK. So I took off my skis, palmed my poles, and scooted down the mountain ON MY BUTT. It was great. It took for freaking ever, and I think I brought most of the mountain down with me… but seriously? It was the only way.

Of course, I’m only realizing now that I look at this map of the mountain that Marie was EVIL and took me on a blue-square run. Not a happy green circle, AN ANGRY, EDGY BLUE SQUARE.

No wonder I was freaking out over the steep decline, no wonder it took me bloody forever to do my wide sweeping turns. No wonder my legs were burning red firey lactic acid.

On the upside: I did (at least part) a Moderate run! That’s pretty crazy … and something to be proud of (even if I was the most awkward, pathetic skier on the hill!)

Silver Star (17)edit


8 Responses to “Bambi the ski bunny”

  1. Laura Says:

    You are a bloody riot. Only you would go down a ski hill on your backside. I’m sure you gave lots of people a giggle as they passed you (if they could see you in the dark that is). If it weren’t for the story to go with the picture, you’d think you were a regular on the ski hills. Lookin’ good!

    • Jackie S. Quire Says:

      Thanks! You wouldn’t know it, because you can’t see my feet, but I’m actually slowly being pulled up a tiny little incline to the bunny hill in that last photo. Also: none of the ski gear is mine. So while I may put on a good show, it doesn’t last long once you start peeling back the layers

  2. Bay_Girl Says:

    I feel your pain. I have only tried skiing once, 3 years ago. I ended up getting lessons with a bunch of kindergarten and grade one kids (who kicked my butt) and I never made it past the bunny hill. Kudos to you for giving it a shot! (And, by the way, I would probably still be at the top of that hill waiting for someone to come get me haha).

    • Jackie S. Quire Says:

      Haha, thanks! I actually probably will try to take a lesson or two before the winter is up. I’m so terrible, I’m sure all the 5 year olds will mock me 🙂

  3. Robyn Says:

    I was born edgy. It was a painful birth.

  4. Jackie S. Quire Says:

    C’mon, it’s only been 2 years!!

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